Friday's Weekly Rap-Up Rewind: Two Years in Houston - Lecrae "The Bride"

Friday's Weekly Rap-Up - July 21, 2014
(See original from July 19, 2013)
Lecrae - The Bride

Saying "I Do"

It is hard to believe, but this Monday marked two years of being in Houston, today marks two years of calling Sojourn Heights my local church (and the day that my friend Kyle Bryant took me on an extensive three-hour tour of Houston), and Wednesday marks two years of working for the City of Houston Planning and Development Department. It has been two years since I packed up my belongings and left the quaint (and amazingly beautiful and friendly) city of Harrisonburg, Virginia, to make the trek to the big, bustling city of Houston. It was difficult leaving, not because of what lie ahead, but because of the relationships that I was leaving behind, and the fact that Harrisonburg and Rockingham County were so darn blessed with natural beauty and friendly people.

Rose River Falls in Shenandoah National Park

A Skyline Drive sunset in Shenandoah National Park

This past year was a huge blessing. First, Emily and I were married in March. It's been a wonderful four months with my bride, and we are both growing in holiness, that's for sure. It was a great celebration with family and friends where we could display our love for each other, but most importantly the love the Christ has for his bride, the Church.

I've been able to experience a good amount of Texas this past two years. I've covered San Antonio a few times, Austin a few more, gazed at a Texas night sky in the middle of the country, made a few trips to New Orleans, swam in Galveston and Port Aransas, floated the river in New Braunfels, downed a few Lone Stars and Shiner Bocks, and have done even more shopping at HEB, no thanks to my wife.

Moving to a new place is not always easy, even if you've done it a few times. Whether it is within a region or across the county, having roots displaced can be traumatic personally and spiritually, as you lose the nourishment of friends, family, fellowship and familiarity. Plants, when transplanted, often go through a period of shock before regaining their regular growing pattern. But there are precautions that gardeners can take in order to mitigate and minimize any shock the plants receive upon transplant, in order to ensure that the plants will continue to live healthy, fruit-bearing lives. As Christians, many of these precautions are also applicable to our lives within the Church.

Sunrise in Port Aransas

There's one thing that made it easy to avoid any "shock" in Houston. That would be the Church. Yes, the saints at Sojourn here in Houston are largely responsible for this, but the larger fellowship of other brothers and sisters in Christ keeps us rooted in our identities in Christ. I could have avoided the minimization of shock, but I believe that as we continue to grow in holiness, we gain an innate desire for biblical fellowship and teaching. For my transplant, a faithful comrade assisted in sharing their experiences in Houston. As I cast a wide networking net, the Lord eventually led me to Sojourn. I arrived on that Saturday night, and attended a Sojourn Sunday Gathering the next day. I haven't left yet.

Even though I have not left, there have been times these past two years where I have groaned and complained. The faithful teaching of the men that led the churches I have previously attended, and the genuine fellowship of those within those congregations, has led to a less-than-lofty expectation for my church experience, recognizing that, starting with myself, people have sinful and selfish tendencies, and that there is not a Utopian church experience. At least not yet. That will happen when Christ returns.

There are still times where my personal and congregational preferences are heavily challenged. I like to have a schedule, and keep it. I'd prefer to have time to regularly exercise or explore Houston. I'd prefer to cook at home instead of eating out. I'd prefer to sing more classic hymns at Sojourn's gatherings. The list could continue. But, for the sake of continuing to be able to love and serve those in our presence, we look past our preferences.

Have I grown in holiness these past two years? Without a doubt. Has it been easy? Not a chance. It's not easy confronting others when you have sinned against them or feel they have hurt you. Admitting personal sin and developing deep personal relationships can be messy. It's uncomfortable getting to know people below the surface. It's difficult surrendering personal preferences for the service of another. I am continuing to learn this as I strive to live in an understanding way with my wife. It's certainly not always something that I do well, and need to keep asking the Holy Spirit to help me. All of this holds true for any relationship, but is especially true in dedicated relationships within the church. And, even though there is difficulty, there is reward. Ephesians 4: 11-16 is a promise of this.

Overall, it's been a great two years in Houston. Has it always been comfortable? Definitely not. But, the comfort of Christ has continued to be lavished upon me through The Bride of Christ, his Church.

"Marriage Is Not For Me" - Or You.

If you've been on Facebook or Twitter this past week, or explored the CNN or Fox News websites, you've most likely seen a blog entry entitled "Marriage is Not For Me". Given its title, most people probably thought that Seth Adam Smith was going to explain how he had become disenfranchised with the idea of marriage. His title had a strategic double meaning, and I was one of many that took the bait! But Smith goes on to explain that through a conversation with his father, he had come to the realization that his marriage exists not for him to be served, but for him to be able to serve his wife, and for married people to be able to make their spouse happy.

It's refreshing to see Smith's encouragement and realization from a peer. So many of our millennial peers continue to flee from the challenge of marriage, only to miss out on its transforming benefits. 

While Smith's realization is encouraging and needed, I think we can push things a little bit further and say that marriage isn't for me...... or you. Without a doubt, husbands and wives must display sacrificial love within marriage. Marriage needs to be about more than simply making our spouses happy and loving them. We can't be set up to believe that our spouses will love us perfectly for the entirety of our marriages, or that we will love them back perfectly either. Any two people that enter into a relationship are spiritually broken in some way, which means we are self-centered, and will end up hurting them.

This is why marriage needs to be about more than us, and also more than just about our spouses. If the focus is simply on lovingly pleasing another person, we will tire in striving to perfectly love them. Where do we find the example of how to selflessly love our spouses? Tim Keller addresses this directly in his book, The Meaning of Marriage.

"But ironically, this newer view of marriage actually puts a crushing burden of expectation on marriage and on spouses in a way that more traditional; understandings never did. And it leaves us desperately trapped between both unrealistic longing and terrible fears about marriage."                                   -Tim Keller, The Meaning of Marriage

Thankfully, we are not without hope in our marriages. As Christians, we can look to the relationship that Christ has with us, the Church. This is why marriage was created; to allow us to reflect the sacrificial and redemptive relationship that the Lord has with us, his creation.  

I am not yet married, but am preparing to marry my fiancee Emily in March. I've already seen the ways that I cannot perfectly love her. If marriage were about simply making her happy, she'd be better off without me, and getting out of this thing now. But, thankfully we are not interested in simply making each other happy. We've surrendered the fact that we won't be able to do that perfectly. We continue to pray that the Lord would center our minds and motivations around not only serving one another, but using our marriage to help display the love that the Lord has for us, and the lengths that Christ went to save us from the curse of our sin. We look forward to being married, and know that it will take a great deal of work, sacrifice and patience. We know it will be well worth it. 

We need more millennials that share Seth Adam Smith's realization. Otherwise, marriage will simply be a burden to perform, rather than a covenantal environment in which we can freely love our husbands or wives. Let us not lose sight of the fact that marriage and love isn't simply about the person that you love. It's about the Person who loved us at our worst, and continues to love us. 

Friday's Weekly Rap-Up - September 13, 2013 - "Good Thing", Trip Lee

Yep, I'm engaged. Actually, we're engaged!

Emily and I became engaged on Thursday night, after a nice relaxing date to Herman Park here in Houston. After sharing some Chinese food from The Rice Box food truck, we found a nice spot in Herman Park, where we enjoyed watching the setting sun. As the sunlight began to fade, I made my move (after hiding her ring in the Yahtzee game that we were about to play!) She said "Yes, of course!" Then we enjoyed a few minutes together before calling family, and spending time with some close friends. It was a great night.

I'm looking forward to marriage. Quite a bit to be honest. I think it's a good thing. Contrary to the ideas typically perpetuated in chick-flicks, marriage will not complete Emily, or me. It won't be picture perfect either. (For instance, before heading to Herman Park to enjoy our night and propose, a bird pooped on us while we waited for our food at the Rice Box food truck! It wasn't a perfect night!) We know our covenantal adventure will be one that requires much work and attention, but we are ready to go through all of that work together. As Christians, we recognize that we are both humans who have self-centered tendencies, and marriage will continue to change us.

Even if there are difficult times, marriage will be glorious! Much like training for any large athletic event, the training and work that goes into it is not seen by many and is normally painful, but rewarding. I look forward to serving Emily, and how we might grow together in understanding what each of us are called to in marriage and in pursuing our lives in Christ. We are called to continue to know one another and serve one another in our relationship. If we see our spouses purely as sexual or financial partners, and not our best friends, we will find that the level of those partnerships will only decrease, and that we will need something outside of our marriages that will satisfy us.

Many people in their early to mid-twenties might not share these views. They might argue that marriage limits our ability to explore the world, try new things, and live a relatively unbridled life. There is some truth to that. Sure, if I were married, or had been engaged earlier, it would made things much more difficult to attend graduate school at Marshall, pursue a basketball coaching position at William and Mary, or land-use planning jobs in Virginia or Texas.

Many do not want to be "tied-down" to another for the long-term, and the idea of being together for life is too much, and is limiting. But, the reality is, that variety in relationships and the "try-before-you-buy" mentality actually traps you. It does not allow you to freely and fully love another, which is the definition of the type of love and relationship that we all seek, even if we're too independent to admit it. We become trapped in a pool of relationships that is a million miles wide, but only an inch deep. It's our understanding that only in a committed, covenantal marriage, will there be true intimacy where a husband and a wife can be free to fully love one another.

Emily and I have both read Tim Keller's book "The Meaning of Marriage" on our own, but we will be reading it together as we get closer to our wedding date. I highly recommend this book, and am thankful for the wisdom that is communicated through it.

Yes, it will be great for us to love each other in our marriage, and I am looking forward to that immensely! But the Lord's greater purpose for marriage is that it would be a picture of the relationship between Christ and His redeemed people, the Church. It's my hope that Emily and I will be able to display this truth to our family, friends, coworkers and neighbors. We're excited about what lies ahead, and know that marriage is definitely a "Good Thing"!